Showing posts with label Rant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rant. Show all posts

Monday, May 4, 2009

Drivers.


Alright jackasses. Listen up, I am only going to say this once (read as many times as it takes to get though your skull)

I don't care where you are from. Male, female, young or old. Black, pink, blue or orange. You suck at driving and get the hell off the road.

I can't drive to work in the morning without seeing a dozen people speed up and pass me just to get into the other lane so they can be third in line at a red light instead of fourth! Did I mention that you failed to use your signals. ya, that thing to the left that makes the green light flash.

Another thing, turning right at a red. Good.
Turning left at a right. Bad. Dangerous. See also, Letting the ambulance/Cop/Fire truck pass by pulling over to the right. Good. Slowing down in the left/keep driving. Bad.

And now, to EVERYBODY'S pet peeve. Your house is where you can eat and do your make-up. the 401 however, is where you drive. And not do 170 for no reason.

One more thing. Honking at me and flashing your lights will get the following result: My finger and me slowing you down with the hopes there is traffic in the other lane and you can't pass me. You jackass. The same result is for cutting me off.

Now, the piece de resistance!
If you are on the highway and you see traffic is backed up DO NOT!, once more, DO NOT zoom by me and the other cars on the right to where the third lane merges into the 2nd and try and sneak in there. Fuck you. You suck and that's just a douche way to drive. Go home.

So to recap:
Don't cut people off
Do let emergency services go by you
DO USE SIGNALS
Don't be a douchebag.

Go sign up for driving lessons and let the people who know how to dive do it.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Its FOOTBALL not soccer!



Alright, you are a football jock and I am a soccer hooligan. But let's but those things aside and have a little talk.

You watch a game where a man in a protective suit carries an egg shaped ball down the field. I, on the other hand, watch a game were a group of men use their feet to kick a ball down a field. When your sport requires a person to use their feet, that person needs to be called in specially for that job then leaves the field.

How is that Football?! let's just call it what it is. hand egg. The ball looks like and egg and you use your hands. The end. Let the soccer community have football, like most of the world calls it.

Out!